Disguised
by Hinamori-nee-chan
Summary: Kanda Yuu is extremely famous. But as a singer who does NOT want to be stalked, his cover name is Mystery. He disguises himself as a very ugly boy and goes to school as a regular student. But what will he do when he meets the love of his life? fem allen.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys, this is another one of my crazy ideas that I can't get out of my head. SORRY. I'm working on the next chapter of "To Hogwarts?" though. Hope you like this. Allen's a girl in this. And kanda has disguised himself as an ugly fat boy who wears glasses and a strange blue wig that everyone thinks is his real hair. Why? Well, he's actually star singer, the most famous singer in japan and Britain as a matter of fact. He's so famous and loved for his good looks that he's hiding his identity to save himself from his raving fangirls. Another question would be, wait, but if he and the star have the same name, won't they know anyway? Well, the star has a cover name. Nobody knows his real name except for his uncle, cousin, best friend, and boss. His uncle is Komui. His cousin is Lenalee. His best friend is Lavi. This is a Yullen fic. Except Allen is a girl. And she's the love of his life (queue: D'AWWWWWWW). Okay I'm done. ON WITH THE(rather pointless and random) STORY!_

The girls were always fangirling over me. Well, not _me_, per-se, but the _other_ me. The _real_ me. They'd never like the me they know at school. They only fangirl over the famous, amazing singer, extremely sexy(not to pat myself on the back, or anything), long-haired me. Though, I'm not complaining. In fact, that's the exact reason I _don't_ look like the real me right now. I hate fangirls. They're everywhere. That's why I'm disguised. As a tall, fat guy with glasses and short, sky blue hair. My name is Kanda Yuu. Why won't they recognize my name, if I'm so famous? Well, that's because no one knows the oh-so famous me's name. I'm just called "Mystery". Yeah, I know, unimaginative. But I'm not the most creative person around, unless I'm writing a song. That's the only time my mind really flows.

I've never liked a girl before. They are all so… ordinary. They're all the same. Same black hair. Same make-up. Same girly-ness. Same _everything_. And when I say I've never liked a girl, I mean _never_. Until now.

_**And that is where our story begins. On the day a transfer student came to the Black Order High. Who knows what will happen to our poor Kanda. All we do know is the fact that he's been pierced with something he's never felt before. Love. So, without further ado, dear readers; Once upon a time…**_


	2. REAL Chapter 1: An Angel?

Okey, first chapter. Enjoy! Oh, and:

Disclaimer: I DO NOT NOR WILL EVER OWN -MAN. IF I DID, LET'S JUST SAY THERE WOULD BE A LOT OF CHANGES. XD

_**So, without further ado, dear readers; Once upon a time…**_

_That_. That was _different_. That was…an angel. There was no other way to explain it. The beautiful creature that had just walked in _had_ to be an angel. The angel had pure white, almost glowing hair. Her eyes were a blue-gray that shined in the light. Her pale skin only blemished by a single, gruesome red scar, that ran down her face over her left eye. The scar only seemed to enhance her breathtaking beauty, though. Of course, Kanda would never say any of this out loud. He would commit sepeku before that happened. Plus, she would never like him. With his thick glasses that hid his eyes. Or his (amazingly realistic) fat suit. Though, of course, no one but him knew that it was a fat suit. He snapped out of his thoughts of his fat suit when the angel looked at him. She smiled. This was the first time a girl had smiled at him while he was disguised, and it was dazzling. Then, the teacher walked in.

"Hey. Shut it," He said, but then looked at the girls. "But of course, I don't want to be rude to you young ladies!" He exclaimed. They laughed. The angel glared. Wow. She looked pretty even when annoyed. She spoke.

"Hello? Would you please introduce me, uncle? My legs are killing me because you decided that you would make me walk here from 6 miles away with only 10 minutes to get here, so if you'll hurry up, I'd like to sit down." Even her voice was heavenly. She was polite, it seemed, even when her voice was so obviously laced with anger. The teacher grinned. Mr. Cross was an asshole. He favored only girls. He didn't give a rat's ass about what the guys did. Never mind him. Anyway…

"Well, why wouldn't I make you walk? You look so gorgeous when you're tired and sweaty!" He told her in a singsong voice. Suddenly, it seemed as if something had snapped inside the girl. She kicked him straight in the balls, sending him straight to the ground in pain, and yelled,

"IS THAT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO YOUR NEICE, YOU DAMN OLD PERVERT?" She stood back up to a straight position, and fixed her uniform. All the boys in class were mesmerized. Had that girl really just said that? And did she really _do_ that? She turned to them, and smiled, bowing.

"Hello. My name is Alana Walker. I'm transferring here from England. As you've probably already noticed, I'm Cross-_**baka**_'s niece. Please take care of me!" She put extra emphasis on the 'baka', making a point of what she thought of him as he staggered back up to a standing position, pulling himself up using the desk.

"W-well, then, now y-you've all met my charismatic n-niece, why don't we all get situated? How about we have a free period so that you can get to k-know her? I-I believe I'll be needing to go to the loo. Good luck." And with that, a staggering Mr. Cross left the room.

The girl, Alana, looked back at me. She smiled again, and began to walk over, only to be stopped by one of the girls. She looked at her, confused.

"What is it?" She asked kindly, turning and smiling. Damn that girl. And her damn cronies. As soon as a person (other than my best friend, who knows all about everything) who's actually different, and even more strangely, wants to have a conversation with me, those stupid mountains of makeup stop her. God dammit.

"Oh, Alana-chan, you don't want to talk to Kanda. He's not only ugly, but he's a grump, too. He won't talk to anyone." Said one of the girl who were now looking at her. She looked astonished. Well, there goes a new friend. Fuckers.

"I think I should find that out on my own. But thank you for worrying about me. But, you never know, he could be a really great person!" I looked up. Did she just say that? She looked at me and smiled. She came over.

"Hi!" She said. I settled for my normal demeanor. Little did the whole world know, 'Mystery' (my singer name, if you don't remember) was just as grumpy as 'Kanda Yuu'. Only difference was our (or should I say my) appearance. So, grumpy jackass it was.

"Che." She looked a bit taken aback at this. But she grinned. That was different. She'd never looked this-this…evil. But I'd only known her for less than a minute. What do I know?

"Oh? So you _are_ the grumpy type. How fun." This time she _smirked. _Now I _really_ like her.

"Your name was Kanda, right? Well, then. Why won't you answer?" She asked, smirking at me. I knew she had some sort of plan formulated in her beautiful hea- stop that, Kanda. You swore you'd never like anyone. Even though she was probably the most beautiful creature he had ev- STOP. Answer her.

"Che." I said again. Ah how I love my one sound answers. So easy to use.

"Oh," she said. "Okay, then. Don't answer me. **BA-Kanda**." My eye twitched. That's it. No matter how pretty she is, no one insults me. I shot up out of my chair, and was about to say something, when something red knocked me to the floor, in a tight hug.

"YUU-CHAN! YOUR FAT IS SO SQUISHY!" The red-thing yelled. Fuck. Why'd he get here so early? He's always late.

"Shut it, baka-usagi." I said angrily. Lavi grinned and stood up, helping me up easily. To everyone else, that made him seem really strong, as my fat suit made me look like I was over 250 pounds, but to him, it was like normally helping me up. He _was_ my best friend after all. He knew all about the fat suit. Though of course, that was another thing I'd never admit. I'd never EVER admit that he was my best friend.

"Maa, Maa~ relax, Yuu-chan. Your fat _is_ really squishy. You can't deny that." He laughed as I threw a punch at him, but missed, because that little shit dodged.

"And I _will_ kill you." I said glaring. But then, as per usual, I heard the normal whispers flowing around the classroom.

"Kanda always causes a ruckus."

"What a nuisance."

"How dare he try to hurt Lavi-kun?"

But before I could reply, a yell came.

"THE DOWNLOAD FOR MYSTERY'S NEW SONG, 'JUST BE FRIENDS' IS UP!" A girl screamed. I suddenly heard a familiar tune. Of course it was familiar. I wrote it, after all. At the sound of my voice, the girls squealed. I looked at Alana. This would be her test to see if she really wasn't like them. What was weird was that, while she seemed to be enjoying the music, she wasn't freaking out, like the others were. She seemed lost in the music. Then she saw me looking.

"I like this music. It's nice and really calming. I'd really like to meet Mystery," Dammit, she was one of them. But then, she continued. "I'd like to tell him that his music really helped me. It changed my life, you see. His music saved me," I blinked. What? "I like you. You're not so bad, you know. You may be grumpy by nature, but I can see you've got more than that. You're interesting, so I'll tell you how Mystery's music saved me. You see," she said, suddenly looking solemn.

"I was adopted. Adopted by my father, Mana. He saved my life. My parents abandoned me because of my scar. It happened when my mother was giving birth. See," she told him, lifting up her hair, revealing what looked like a pentacle on the top of the scar. "My parents were avid believers of god, and seeing this, they thought I was cursed. Or maybe they thought I was a demon. Whatever it was, they abandoned me on the road in England. I was found and adopted by Mana, and I loved him with all my heart. He was the only one who loved me. He was the only one who raised me. He was my father. Even if it wasn't blood, he was still my father. But then, when I was 15, he died. It was really scary. I was suddenly all alone in the world, with no one who loved me, or knew how I felt. But then I heard his music. It had such raw emotion, it was so kind and sad and beautiful, that I fell in love with his music. I want to thank him for unknowingly being there for me when I needed it most." She told me, smiling kindly. I had no idea my stupid songs affected people this much. But before I could say something to her, someone interrupted me _again_. This time, it was my cousin, Lenalee. Her elder brother was also my cousin. They took me in after my parents died. So, of course, they knew my secret, too.

"That's a really sad story, Alana-chan." She said, surprising Alana because of her sudden appearance. "I can call you that, right?" She asked, smiling at Alana. Lenalee was planning something.

~Lenalee POV~

I am so getting Alana and Kanda together. He obviously likes her. He never listens to anyone, but here he is, listening silently to her story.

~Back to Kanda POV~

"Uh, yeah. You can call me that." She said, looking positively adorable with that cute confused look on her fa-DAMMIT. Though, it seemed Lenalee agreed with me. Lenalee jumped on Alana.

"You. Are. THE. Cutest. Thing. EVAR!" Lenalee squealed. "Hey, hey! Will you come over to my house today?" She said excitedly, jumping up and down while still hugging Alana. Alana looked dumbstruck. Then it hit me. So THAT was what Lenalee had planned. Hell no. And that is what I said.

"HELL NO." I yelled. Alana looked confused.

"It's not your decision. It's mine." Lenalee told me.

"Oh yes it is. It's my house, too." I said grumpily, crossing my arms over my fake fat. The whole class gasped.

"YOU LIVE WITH LENALEE-CHAN!" A girl yelled, breaking the silence. There were many yells, all including the words 'pervert', 'stalker', and 'rapist'. I got really annoyed.

"I'M NOT A FUCKING PERVERT, YOU LITTLE SHITS. I'M HER FUCKING COUSIN." I yelled. There was another collective gasp. And thus, the rest of the day went rather normally. But Alana was still coming over tonight. And seeing as Cross had told her that she was to stay away from him while he recovered, she would be staying for the next two weeks.(Cross ended up going to the hospital) My luck just had to be so horrible, huh?

~That Evening, At Lenalee and Kanda's House(third person omniscient)~

"Wow. This place is really nice." Alana said, looking around. While it was truly nice, there was something wrong with Kanda. He looked sort of fidgety. Huh. Weird. Well, whatever. It must just be something that has to do with his personality.

Dammit. How dare Lenalee bring Alana over? I need to work on my damn next song. How could she damn well do that, knowing I had to damn well start my damn fucking song? He thought grumpily.

"I'm going to my room. Nobody had better damn well come in, dammit." Kanda said, glaring especially at Lenalee. He knew she had some sort of plan in which she would purposely reveal his identity to Alana. At that thought, he went upstairs to his room. Grumpily. Saying "Che" as he went.

"He sure has been saying 'Damn' a lot, huh, Alana-chan?" Lenalee said, looking at her newly adopted(it was decided in her head, but never announced) sister.

"Yeah. Is that normal?" Alana asked.

"Oh, yes. No need to worr-" But Lenalee's answer was cut off by a loud,

"LENALEEEEE~~"

And that, my friends, is chapter one. Imma make Alana find out next chapter. I know I'm going through the story a bit fast, but I AM working on TWO OTHERS. Luvz~


	3. Chapter 2: A Brother

YO. BTW, the song I mentioned last chapter is called(as you know) "Just Be Friends". But it's not the original just be friends by Luka(the vocaloid) the one I'm mentioning is sung by "CLEAR". To find the song, go to youtube and search:

CLEAR- Just Be Friends – Dearest II

Or something along those lines (as long as it has "dearest II" and "just be friends" in it, you don't need to include CLEAR)

ON WITH THE STORY.

~this, oh minions of mine, is a line break~

RECAP:

_"I'm going to my room. Nobody had better damn well come in, dammit." Kanda said, glaring especially at Lenalee. He knew she had some sort of plan in which she would purposely reveal his identity to Alana. At that thought, he went upstairs to his room. Grumpily. Saying "Che" as he went._

_"He sure has been saying 'Damn' a lot, huh, Alana-chan?" Lenalee said, looking at her newly adopted(it was decided in her head, but never announced) sister._

_"Yeah. Is that normal?" Alana asked._

_"Oh, yes. No need to worr-" But Lenalee's answer was cut off by a loud,_

_"LENALEEEEE~~"_

~(by the way, the story will now be in third person pov)~

"Oh dear god. Not NOW." Lenalee huffed.

"Um... What is that sound? Where is it coming from? Lenalee?"

When she didn't get an answer she decided to dicreetly in vestigate for herself. So, Alana scanned the surrounding areas of the house that she could see without moving, but the continuous 'EEEEEEEEEE' didn't seem to be coming from any certain point, just reverberating among the walls and columns of the large white entrance hall. Lenalee, who had just removed her hand from her face (which was currently returning to its normal pallor, after a particularly strong facepalm) leaned over and whispered in Alana's ear,

"That would be my brother over the intercom. He's a bit..._eccentric_. Just don't-"

Lenalee was unfortunately cut off once again when she realized that not only had the voice of her brother disappeared halfway through her sentence, but it was now much less staticky and growing steadily louder. The increasingly annoying sound seemed to originate from the large door to her left. This door led to a hallway which connected to a hallway, which connected to a hallway, which connected to a large flight of stairs which led to another hallway that had one door, which connected to her brother's laboratory wing.

Alana, by this time, was squeezing her hands against her ears, in an attempt to block out the shrill sound that was this person's voice. Because of this, she was, in fact, unprepared for the large door slamming open, causing what could be called a small earthquake, which knocked her to the ground. While she was sure she hearing was now permanently impaired, she did count her blessings; she was being dutifully ignored as the man-who must have been the one to cause the earthquake, though she didn't know how, he was impressively thin- jumped on her friend and promptly knocked Lenalee to the ground.

This man was very tall-almost as tall as Kanda-and had shoulder-length black hair that curled out at the ends. Alana currently could not make out his face, as it was buried in Lenalee's abdomen. She also couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but she did manage to catch 'married', 'Lenalee', and 'NOOOOO' through his crazed blubbers. Alana sat up in her spot on the floor and watched his actions with curiosity.

Finally, it seemed Lenalee had had enough of his childish tantrum and –gently- began to pull on his arms in an attempt to make him release her, murmuring comforting words such as "I'm not getting married brother" and "Please calm down, I'm sure they were only trying to wake you up." These attempts seemed to have no effect.

Alana was slightly confused, and because the situation did not seem to have a discernible resolution, she resolved to stay seated on the surprisingly clean marble floor to contemplate her situation.

'He's a bit strange. Maybe overprotective? And who is the 'They' that Lenalee referred to? And what does waking him up have to do with Lenalee getting married?'

Alana was pulled out of her contemplation when Lenalee stood up with slight difficulty, as her brother still seemed to have a death grip on her stomach, and, having given up on gentleness, began to violently try to pry him off. Finally, with a nicely aimed knee to his genitals, he flopped to the ground in an exaggeratedly morose fashion and stared at her like a kicked puppy. Alana noted he had dark-almost black- eyes. Lenalee turned to Alana and reached out to her, offering her hand. Alana took it, slightly dazedly; her mind was still catching up.

"Are you okay, Alana? He gets a bit violent when he wakes up. No doubt his assistant woke him by announcing that I was to be married. Again."

"Again? You've been married before?" Alana asked. Normally she would not be stupid enough to ask such a thing, but she was still slightly out of sorts from her fall. Lenalee giggled.

"No. Never before. We're in high school, remember? I'm not old enough to be married yet." Alana's eyes widened. She shook her head a bit, and banged her forehead with a fist for good measure.

"Yes, I apologize. Excuse me; I was a bit out of sorts." Alana blushed, remembering her blaring stupidity. Why had she asked that?

"It's fine, Alana, really. Now, honestly, stop being so polite, you're going to be living here for two weeks. Plus, we're friends, now. So drop it."

"Ah ye- I mean, Sure, sorry." Alana smiled. All through their conversation, Lenalee's brother stared intently at her, but when the soul-penetrating pathos he was beaming at her failed to prevent her from having a friendly conversation, his facial expression became increasingly dramatic, because maybe it would make his sister realize how selfish she was being by ignoring him despite his obvious emotional discomfort. When Alana looked over Lenalee's shoulder at the nameless older brother, it seemed to her that he was descending into psychological chaos, because apparently being ignored by his sister was a huge blow. He looked almost entirely convinced that he was going to die at any moment.

"Um… Lenalee…" Alana said.

"Yes Alana-chan? What is it?"

Instead of answering, Alana just pointed over her new friend's shoulder. When Lenalee turned, she sighed and finally spoke to him.

"Brother, get up this instant. You're embarrassing yourself. I'm not being married, and I wouldn't have ignored you if you hadn't overreacted. Honestly," She walked over to him and pulled him up."Where are your glasses?"

He sniffled and mumbled "Dunno". She shot a small glare at him and promptly grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the intercom next to the door he entered through. She punched in four numbers-Alana couldn't make out which ones- and then held down another circular button. It must have connected, because when she next spoke, she addressed someone specifically.

"Reever?"

"Here." Came the slightly staticy reply.

"Are brother's glasses in there?"

"Yeah, left 'em on the desk when he ran off. Is he with you? I've sent the entire department looking for him, but we can't find 'im anywhere in the house. Luckily he forgot to equip his new robot when he left."

"Yes, he's with me, nearly gave Alana-chan a concussion, too."

"Oh, that's the girl who's staying with us, right? She's why Komui freaked out in the first place. He thought it read 'Alan', and assumed you were bringing your boyfriend. We had to knock him out, but when he woke up, he was gone before we could restrain him. Sorry."

"It's no problem. She's fine, so no harm done. Who's posted nearest the entrance hall?"

"I sent Johnny out that way to look for him, if that's what you mean."

"Yeah, send him here, so he can take Komui back with him. I'll introduce you all properly tomorrow, so that Alana-chan has time to relax."

"Sure, gimme a second," there was a slight buzzing noise and Alana could just make out someone saying 'Johnny, you there? Go to the entrance hall, you'll find him there… Yeah… great, thanks.' and then the voice got louder again. "He's headed over. Shouldn't be more than a minute."

"Thanks, Reever."

"No problem, little cousin."

Lenalee flashed a smile Alana's way, and looked off towards the stairs, where she assumed Johnny was coming from. She was altogether surprised when Johnny emerged from the kitchen, which was off to the right, covered in flour.

"Oh dear, Johnny, what happened?" She said, jogging across the hall towards him.

"Ah, Jerry decided that I would look cute covered in flour. So here I am, covered in flour." The short man replied somewhat grumpily. He stalked past Alana, not noticing her, grabbed Lenalee's brother by his bicep, and dragged him off through the large door the he came from. The door slammed behind them for good measure. Lenalee turned back to Alana and seemed to remember something. She smiled kindly, but Alana cautiously noted the evil glint in her eyes.

"Well, then Alana, shall I show you to your room?" She said, stepping over to Alana's side. She linked her arm with Alana's and sped off, not waiting for her answer.

~Elsewhere~

Kanda stripped himself of his overlarge shirt and pried off his fat suit, throwing it to the floor in disgust. He did the same with his pants and fake leg and arm fat, and then pulled on his pajama pants. He then ripped off his wig-which he immediately regretted, as he pulled out some of his hair-and, wincing, grabbed his guitar, muttering curses all the while. He fell onto his chair in a huff, crossing his leg and placing his guitar in his lap in the process. He tried to play for a bit, but couldn't concentrate, so he delicately-but still very masculinely…and angrily- set it on the ground before jumping up and pacing back and forth across his room. But of course, pacing wasn't going to help him solve his problem; because his problem was his complete inability to cope with change. And seeing as he wasn't anywhere near the gifted spectrum when it came to problem-solving, this could take a while.

As he was mentally whinin-ahem, contemplating, he managed to mess up his hair tie so that it fell out, letting his long black hair cascade down his back. So, a shirtless, fat-suit-less Kanda paced.

"Goddammit! Fuck! Why does she have to stay here!Frickin'-crap! Damn—shitty—friggin'—SHE PLANNED THIS! Frick! Lenalee's TRYING to fucking kill me! God—damn—friggin—frigger-Frick!" and so on and so forth, until…

The door opened "And this is-Oh. Oopsie!"

Shit.

~End Of Chapter~

All will be explained next chapter. It will probably start out with what happened during Lenalee and Alana's trip through the mansion to kanda's room (lenalee's evil plan, and then it will continue from where i left off.


	4. Chapter 4: An Argument

Hello There.

AHHH I'M SORRY OKAY I'M SORRY

It's been a really really long time since my last update to ANY of my stories! I can't use the excuse "i was really busy" because i'm super lazy and never do anything so that argument is completely invalid. In fact you could go so far as to say that i am a butt. Anyway, i'll leave anything else i have to say for the end note. (if there is anything, it just sort of comes to me as i go so who knows)

Disclaimer: Contrary to popular opinion, i do not, in fact, own D. Gray-Man. It belongs to it's writer, who is not me.

Oh there's a lot of swears in this chapter.

Without further ado, Allons-y!

* * *

><p><em>The door opened "And this is-Oh. Oopsie!"<em>

_Shit._

***Let's backtrack, shall we?***

"Well, then Alana, shall I show you to your room?" She said, stepping over to Alana's side. She linked her arm with Alana's and sped off, not waiting for her answer.

They walked through endless hallways, Lenalee firing off short introductions to every location along the way, dragging Alana alongside her.

"That's the bathroom next to the kitchen," She pointed towards a white door. "That's the kitchen," She pointed at a collection of large doors, obviously meant for the transportation of large amounts of food. "There's the first floor power room-the stuff in there provides electricity for the first floor. I_ know_, it only powers the first floor. Well, we couldn't fit a generator any bigger so we had to settle for one tiny generator per floor." She pointed towards a _very _large door, a door so large that you could probably fit a small aircraft or a fishing boat through with extra wiggle room. Alana felt light headed. This house was bigger than it looked. As she was given the tour, she began to wonder if maybe the house might be bigger on the inside.

"Ah! Here we are, the third floor. This is the living area. All the bedrooms are in this wing. Right above this is the Lab wing, and above that is..." Alana's attention began to fade yet again as she reviewed her day. She had met rather a lot of people, and it seemed that she would be meeting many, many more very soon. She liked her new school, and Lenalee and Kanda were fun people. They were a good combination of 'talks too much' and 'doesn't talk enough'; It was like they completed each other. Kanda was sort of grumpy, but he seemed to have a nice side, he just...had his own way of showing it. His face was strangely thin compared to the rest of his body, which was strange but everyone gains weight in a different way, Alana supposed. It was a bit weird though, she was sure she recognized his face from somewhere, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Oh well, it must just be her imagination. Alana suddenly realized that Lenalee seemed to be saying something important.

"-ay so we've passed the rooms of all the Lab workers and staff, and now we're in the area you're going to stay. Just to let you know, This," Lenalee opened a green door, showing the large forest themed bedroom. "is my room, if you need me."

She grinned in a strangely malicious way, but the look disappeared as fast as it came, making Alana assume she had been seeing things, and then walked Alana across the hallway and stopped in front of a black door, opening it. "And this is-Oh. Oopsie!"

Imagine, for a moment, that you are having a tour of a friend's house after a nice day full of meeting new people, including a new friend named Kanda, who you think is probably reading or doing homework. You are calm and a little sleepy, but you are feeling secure about your life. And then you are abruptly presented with the image of your new friend, shirtless and curiously lacking quite a large amount of body fat, standing right in front of you looking quite like a deer caught in headlights.

He also looks frighteningly similar to the singer who indirectly saved your life. Whom also has that tattoo. As well as hair so long that it borders on ridiculous.

Alana added two and two, and immediately realized that Kanda did not, in fact, just _look _like her favorite singer. Alana, to say the least, lost consciousness.

* * *

><p>"Goddammit Lenalee! You planned this, didn't you?" Kanda yelled, violently gesturing to the unconscious white-haired girl currently laying in the entrance of his bedroom. Lenalee smiled innocently.<p>

"Why, whatever do you mean, Yuu?" She said, placing her hand on her cheek as an obviously fake sign of confusion. His eye twitched in annoyance.

They heard a gasp and turned back to Alana, who was just sitting up, waking from her short bout of shock-induced unconsciousness. She looked straight at Kanda and scrambled to stand up. He mentally and physically prepared for the customary fangirl greeting, bracing himself for the inevitable impact of a hug or the sound of a screech by tensing up and clenching his eyes shut, but when neither of those happened, he opened his eyes and was pleasantly surprised to see that she was bowing very low, showing great respect.

"It's an honor to meet you! I-I never thought that i'd ever _ever _get to meet you face to face, and-and i'm not sure what to say but-" She was cut off by Lenalee.

"Woah Alana, no need for so much respect. He's the same asshole he was before, he's just _prettier._" She said, shooting a smirk at Kanda. Alana straightened back up, looking slightly unsure.

"That doesn't mean-"

"Excuse me? Just because i don't spew out cheer like a happiness sprinkler doesn't mean i'm an asshole!"

"I do _not _do that! Just because you don't have the capacity for emotion doesn't mean that i'm too happy!"

"Um-"

"No, you just have too _many _emotions! It's like you're having all of them at once and it's uncalled for! I'm perfectly capable of emotions, i just use them at a _reasonable _level!"

"If reasonable means _not at all _then I agree with you! The only mood you're capable of harnessing at a proper degree is _annoyance_!"

"Guys-"

"No, i get annoyed so often around you because you're _annoying_! It's cause and effect! Did you ever learn about that in grade school?"

"Yes! I like to assume that i'm an expert on it, and what you're experiencing isn't cause and effect, it's called being a _dick_!"

"Guys is this really necess-"

"Well, _excuse me princess_! Sorry for not being _perfect_! Would you like me to change everything about myself to suit your standards? Would you like me to commit seppuku to demonstrate how _sorry_ I am?"

"Ugh you are so infuriating!"

"I guess you know how i feel now don't you?"

"You ass-"

"GUYS!"

They stopped yelling, and their heads turned immediately to look straight at Alana, who looked slightly irritated, as well as confused.

"Thank you." She said more calmly. "Now, despite the fact that i'm really really excited to meet the person that practically _saved my life_, i would honestly like an explanation as to_ what _is going on. I've only just met the two of you today, and then i find out you're rich, and then i'm told that i'm staying here for_ two weeks _or more, and then i nearly get mauled by a complete stranger, and _then,_" She said, stopping to take a breath. "i find out that the guy i _just met _is a world famous singer who i happen to see as my hero. As you can see, things are going a bit quickly for me, and i would greatly appreciate it if someone would cut me some slack and help me to understand the abrupt change in my_ life._"

Kanda and Lenalee were speechless for a few second, and then they both launched into and explanation at the same time, gesturing angrily at each other as they spoke altogether too fast for her to understand a single word that either of them spoke.

"Okay STOP."

They both stopped.

"One at a time, please?"

* * *

><p>And that's it for this chapter. Sorry it's not that long, but i felt that that was a good ending. Next chapter will be an explanation (at the very least). You got the short version, but next chapter you'll get the long version. Also hopefully i'll get Lavi in there too. So there's not much to say. Again, i'm really sorry for taking such a long time to update. I update slowly, i know, but it's because it just needs to be the right moment, otherwise the chapter will be half-assed. I want to do my best on chapters, and sometimes that entails waiting a long ass time for me to update, and i'm <em>really<em> sorry. Well, i hope you liked it. If you have the time, please review! If you don't want to review, you don't have to, but i do appreciate it. It's always the reviews that end up inspiring me to update, hilariously. I look at the reviews and i suddenly feel really happy and then i feel like_ you deserve an update dammit._ And then you eventually get an update. I guess that's my writing cycle haha. Anyway, Hina out.


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